Being an evil marketer I am constantly segmenting people by demo/socio/value-graphic methods. I may get in trouble for this for not including people in various categories but I’m going to attempt to create a classification system for ultrarunners. (I have been in the bottom 3 categories, myself) Anyway, here goes:

Super-elite (a.k.a. ghosts) – Pre-race: Smiling at the start line. Wearing tank top/no-shirt and shorts, possibly Moeben sleeves even when it’s 5 below (least amount of clothing because there is no chance they will get cold during the race from running slow). Wearing shades or sun visor on a cloudy day. Possibly tanned. One bottle max. One gel (hidden on person). During race – running all hills, ‘flying’ through the air on the downhills. Post race – smiling at the finish line. Walking or running to car to pick up warm coat. Possibly running home after race.

Elite (a.k.a. Fasties) – Pre-race: Chatting with others at the start line. Wearing t-shirt and tights/trail shorts or a t-shirt/long-sleeve combo and dressing to the weather. Hat. One bottle minimum, some with two bottles. Tiny minority with belts. Compression socks in longer races. Not tanned. 2-4 gels on person. During race – running almost all hills, ‘flying’ through the air on the downhills. Some stopping at CP’s to pick up extras. Post race – smiling at the finish line. Some stretching. Ravenous eating.

Tier 2 (a.k.a. Pace Pushers) – Pre-race: Nervous chatter and smiles with others at the start line but a little more serious. Dressed reasonably for the weather – layered. Hat. Tights. One bottle minimum – many with two bottles or camelbacks. Some with Nathan vests or belts. Some tanned. Carrying clif bars, shot blocks or gels or combination thereof. During running – combining running and walking on hills. Decent downhill running but some cramps later in the race. Definite stopping at CP’s to pick up supplies but mostly ‘light’ foods. Post race – smiling and wincing all at the same time. Walking slowly to car. Ravenous eating.

Tier 1 (a.k.a. Sandwich guy/gal) – Pre-race: Smiles and chatting with others. Just happy to be at the race. Looking for old friends to chat with along the way. Layers of clothing – maybe even some cotton sneaking in there. Hat. Shorts. Dressed for the weather but not overly obsessed with it. Tight legs from previous race. Carrying full backpack with an assortment of food and camelback. Some tanned. Lighthearted. Not concerned about time only finishing. During running – walking on hills. Stopping on downhills for breaks. Waiting for slower racers when in a group. Taking full advantage of the CP’s and even commenting about it to the volunteers – and thanking the volunteers. Post race – smiling and a little hobbling. Asking, “I thought there was beer at the finish?”. Hunting down red meat.

Novice (a.k.a. Photo taker) – Pre-race: Nervous chatter and smiles but previous ultra experience left them terrified. Layers of clothing including a race shirt from previous ultra and nothing short of a parka in-case of inclement weather. Carrying full backpack with assortment of food, camelback, camera for photos and emergency kit. Feet taped and 2 pairs of socks because they are prone to blisters. Happy to finish and plan to upload their photos to Flickr post race. During running – walking hills. Walking some downhills. Taking pictures of scenery from every ridge. Thanking the volunteers at every CP. Stopping and actually having soup at one CP during race. Post race – smiling and definite hobbling. Showing photos from the race to friends and family on digital camera.

Beginner (a.k.a. Sweeper) – Pre-race: Nervous chatter, some smiles, some terrified/bewildered looks. Combination of poly/cotton and Gore-tex clothing. Trail runners or light hiking boots. Backpack with food, camelback, emergency kit, extra clothing and cell-phone in case they get lost. Hiking poles for downhills. Not sure if they are going to finish but if so, will be ecstatic. 2 pairs of socks including wool on cold days. During running – walking hills and stopping. Walking all downhills. Constantly readjusting heavy pack. Taking 3-5 minute rest breaks at every CP. Post race – hands up coming across the finish line (holding poles). Collapsing and lying down. Not wanting to eat only lying for a few minutes. Falling asleep within 30 minutes.